Thats What I Say

Actually Momma need a new pair of shoes.   Taking advantage of some of the sales today I found a pair of Under Armour athletic shoes.  I have never bought that brand of shoe before but they looked  so sharp sitting there on the shelf.  I found it difficult to resist them. They did more than beckon me they chided me for shopping instead of being at the gym. 

                           They mocked my weakness for carbs and the calories I consumed at lunch.  You don’t see shoes like these at HuHot Mongolian Grill that is for sure. You have no reason to be at HuHot they scold me, at least I think so, the packaging seemed to muffle them. I take them out of the box and pull out the tissue paper.     I tried them on and they felt good. They felt right.  Wear us out of the store they cried.  No way , that is too cheesy I replied.  I will wear you tomorrow to the gym I said. They glared at me with their laces untied and the tissue paper pulled out from the insoles like they just puked in disgust at me. Right. We have heard that before.  You couldn’t have I retort.  You are new, never worn, your soles prove it.   Surlier than my teenage son they groan at my literal  thinking. We have all heard it before they say. Look around you. There are as many shoes as there are broken promises and forgotten New Year’s resolutions.  I glance around at the shelves of shoes. Hundreds of them, how many broken promises were mine?  You haven’t been to the gym in two days they add.  I cannot believe I am getting reprimanded by footwear.   How can that be any more difficult to believe than you believing you will lose weight if you don’t get back to the gym comes their quick and caustic reply.  OK OK , I give in and put the shoes in my cart.   I need a push to get back on the wagon. These shoes just might be that push.  They are serious exercise shoes even if they are a tad emotionally abusive.  I’ve worn shoes that have hurt before I rationalize. 

I purchase the shoes, take them home and lay them out with my gym clothes for the morning.  Happy now? I question them.  Perhaps, they say, you ought to try us on. Break us in a bit before tomorrow. Whatever.  I put them on. Comfy! Better yet, it shut them up!

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